Multiple Sclerosis is an ass. It is nothing more than a raving bully. It came barreling into my life like a bull in a china shop. It forced me into a new way of doing things.
It might be an ass, but it will not (always) bully me. Some days are worse than others. Sometimes my feet leave me barely able to walk.
Then there’s the debilitating fatigue. Let me tell you – MS fatigue is a BITCH. People think their fatigue is the same as MS fatigue. Not so fast. MS fatigue is a special type of fatigue. It sticks like glue. It’s always there, like a guest who has overstayed their welcome in your home. It. Won’t. Go. Away. But wait, MS fatigue can be exacerbated. How can fatigue be exacerbated, you ask? It’s called heat! And I just happen to live in South Louisiana. It’s ALWAYS hot – minus like maybe 5 days throughout the year. Which means a cooling vest, cooling neck wrap, cooling hat, cooling socks, and cooling unmentionables. Honestly, one of the worst things about MS fatigue is that it just comes in like a runaway steamroller.
I would have to say that the WORST part of MS is that it is an ‘invisible’ disease. I’m sure we all know what invisible means. It can’t be seen. My fatigue, eye issues, and neuropathy (just to name a few) aren’t evident to the general public. So I just smile. I smile because I’m thankful I am still able to kinda do things I used to do. I smile despite the pain I’m in. I smile even though I would rather just go curl up in a ball and cry.
People often ask me how I keep going. My answer: I have two choices – I can keep going or I can stop and I’m not ready to stop. There is still life for me to live. And I damn well plan on doing it.
I get sick all the time. MS is an autoimmune disease, which means the immune system is broken. To tame the MS, immunosuppressant’s are added to the mix. I swear, all I have to do is look at someone that’s sick and I’ll be coming down with something soon.